Where I’ve Been / Am I Still Vegan?


As you can probably imagine, this hasn’t been an easy journey to share with you. Building my brand, my website, and my own self-image based on the basis of veganism has taught me things I never thought possible.

Mainly- that I am in fact human. Ever-changing. Ever-evolving. And definitely not fitting into any type of label. #RealLifeButterfly

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So to answer the obvious, no, I’m not veganNot even close if I’m being totally honest. Where have I been? Growing, exploring, and healing all the deepest layers of myself.

I felt a tremendous amount of guilt, naturally. But as time goes on, I’m realizing that this is a topic that needs to be addressed. Given the current “trends” in the health industry, what I will be sharing in future posts might be shocking and triggering to some of my OG followers. I have met many wonderful people in the vegan community, and I still respect their ethical and culinary choices. I’m not here to debate dietary choices, but it doesn’t work for everyone. And my own health journey is proof. I tried every avenue of veganism. I did everything “right.” Ate exclusively “whole” foods, pounds of organic greens and vegetables. No sugar, no soy. Spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on top-of-the-line supplements and superfoods. And guess what?

I was only getting sicker.

I’ll be dedicating a whole series of posts to my skin and skin health in general, as this was the biggest (and albeit most superficial) factor in my decision to leave the “vegan” label behind.

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Multiple holistic practitioners told me I should be grateful for my acne, grateful my body didn’t instead manifest illness internally. That I was receiving warning signs – a blessing in a really fucked up disguise.

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But as I started to change my diet, I realized there WERE much bigger symptoms presenting themselves internally. I was just so used to feeling moderately shitty at all times, I didn’t pay much attention.

Within a week of my new protocol, my brain fog completely cleared. Years of chronic fatigue, anxiety, and depression lifted. It was really that drastic. Like an ominous cloud lifted. My brain devoured the DHA, Vitamin A, and cholesterol – circuits were firing again. I can’t even put it into words.

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Years of vegetarianism, veganism, crash diets, plastic surgery (full post coming on this too), and eating disorders did a number on my gut health. I suffered from chronic digestion issues, which I now realize were exasperated by my 99% fiber vegan diet. All the kale in the world couldn’t save me – in fact it was making things worse.

Things still aren’t perfect, and I don’t expect them to be. Healing is never really finished.

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I’ve taken a break from the blog and social media in general, as I’ve had to find my own voice and identity again. So if you’re here for the ride, I appreciate you. And if you’ve also suffered from health problems on a vegan diet, I’d love to hear your stories.

 

Here’s to new beginnings and uncomfortable conversations.

Xx

Ava

 

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